Wednesday, February 25, 2009

disbelief

Time moves real fast in my head, i just felt like it's been dragging on for ages. And as time goes by, my faith is leaking day by day. I had been walking thru the tunnel for quite some time, trying to find light. Not so anymore, as i went deeper day by day, i grew more acquainted to the darkness, and i've found a home inside the tunnel. It's some sort of mixed feelings, of yearning to see the light, but yet unwilling to betray the warmth of the darkness.

As hope diminishes little by little, i drew further and further away from the people around me. I had cried for help, but now i know that it's futile, i gave up trying. Now, i'm looking forward to sheol, it's no longer a place of fear of the unknown for me, but a place i'm familiar with. I almost felt i belonged there. The promises of God just seem like bullshit to me, more and more.

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