i believe that God's "best" for us is for us to make the best out of the normal things He gave us.
It reminds me of the story of a woman estrangled in a flood. A rescue boat and a helicopter had came to her aid, but she refuse their help, becos she believe that God will show up to help her. Eventually she was drowned and went to heaven asking God why He didnt rescue her. And God told her he had sent her a boat and a helicopter, but she refused to be helped.
I believe that what i'm asking for, is what God has put the desire in me. And i have to claim it and make the best out of it, and it WILL become the BEST God has for me.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Friday, March 27, 2009
Jesus, pls help me wf this. Let me be patient and wise, n make me exercise self-control. There are times when i wasn't good, when i turned away from u, nt heeding ur advice but went on my own evil ways. But God, let me come back to you n follow you. Teach me your ways. This is the chance i'm waiting for, please let me not spoil it again. Let me be strong in this n go through this in triumph, for i know You r a good God.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
walking in faith
Dear God, let me put my faith in you and not to worry of the things i'm yearning for. As Your word says, "If then God so clothes the grass, which today is in the field and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will He clothe you,"(Lk 12:28). Let me trust in Your provision and know that You will deliver me. Amen! I'll walk in Your righteousness till the day of your deliverance, and not let me doubt in You ever again.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
the stake
Ever since i've made the covenant with God, i was repeatedly challenged by how is it going to happen. I'm torn between putting my whole faith in God and submitting to the fate of reality.
I am challenged by the "dark side of me" daily, hour by hour, to submit to the fate that it will never happen. 3 months? I'm doubtful of it even if it is 3 years!!!
Nevertheless, i was prompted by the "God side of me" that God knew what He was doing when He let Ps Cesar made the call for the covenant. "God knows the desires of each and everyone of those who came forward for the covenant, and He is going to make all these happen, in 3 months time", "God will always honour His covenant, it's in the bible. Even when we are faithless, God remains faithful". Some more, i didnt initiate the covenant, God did! And He even promise it to happen in 3 months time! I went forward, just hoping that God will somehow, someday make it happen, probably after a long time, but i was totally surprised when Ps Cesar said it will happen in 3 months time. I even tried to "help" God by saying that I will deem the covenant to be fulfilled if something close to it shld happen or if there's some other alternatives. But God says no!! The exact thing i had asked for will be given to me, as in the covenant.
I had fulfilled my part of the covenant. And i'm working towards making myself ready when the covenant is fulfilled. It's really difficult, and i was challenged daily by doubts from the devil and my lust of the flesh. It's only the 2nd day, and i'd already succumbed to it. But i know that i am not perfect, and i applied the blood of Jesus over myself. I let it take away the guilt of not able to keep myself pure, i put everything onto the cross. I know the grace of God is sufficient for me, but i will not take it for granted. I am working towards dying to myself daily on the cross. And i know that even when i am faithless, God will be faithful.
To let the "dark side of me" to be in peace of totally submitting myself to the covenant, i want to stake my whole life into the covenant. If the covenant is not fulfilled in 3 mths time, then let me die. But when the covenant is fulfilled, i will never be able to doubt God ever again. This is the greatest thing that God can do for me. If He can do this for me, He can do everything. Never again will i be able to fall once again, and let me rise up to the position that God wants me to be in. Amen
I am challenged by the "dark side of me" daily, hour by hour, to submit to the fate that it will never happen. 3 months? I'm doubtful of it even if it is 3 years!!!
Nevertheless, i was prompted by the "God side of me" that God knew what He was doing when He let Ps Cesar made the call for the covenant. "God knows the desires of each and everyone of those who came forward for the covenant, and He is going to make all these happen, in 3 months time", "God will always honour His covenant, it's in the bible. Even when we are faithless, God remains faithful". Some more, i didnt initiate the covenant, God did! And He even promise it to happen in 3 months time! I went forward, just hoping that God will somehow, someday make it happen, probably after a long time, but i was totally surprised when Ps Cesar said it will happen in 3 months time. I even tried to "help" God by saying that I will deem the covenant to be fulfilled if something close to it shld happen or if there's some other alternatives. But God says no!! The exact thing i had asked for will be given to me, as in the covenant.
I had fulfilled my part of the covenant. And i'm working towards making myself ready when the covenant is fulfilled. It's really difficult, and i was challenged daily by doubts from the devil and my lust of the flesh. It's only the 2nd day, and i'd already succumbed to it. But i know that i am not perfect, and i applied the blood of Jesus over myself. I let it take away the guilt of not able to keep myself pure, i put everything onto the cross. I know the grace of God is sufficient for me, but i will not take it for granted. I am working towards dying to myself daily on the cross. And i know that even when i am faithless, God will be faithful.
To let the "dark side of me" to be in peace of totally submitting myself to the covenant, i want to stake my whole life into the covenant. If the covenant is not fulfilled in 3 mths time, then let me die. But when the covenant is fulfilled, i will never be able to doubt God ever again. This is the greatest thing that God can do for me. If He can do this for me, He can do everything. Never again will i be able to fall once again, and let me rise up to the position that God wants me to be in. Amen
Sunday, March 15, 2009
covenant
The G12 Conference was great! I'm so glad i went. Pastor Cesar was awesome, he spoke faith into my heart, and i was truly encouraged by his words. Even daniel khong's message was timely, he spoke what was really in my mind. However, what really amazed me was the sermon by Ps Cesar after that, and the covenant he invited us to make. I had been asking God about the question for quite some time, and i couldnt get any definite answer. When the speakers called for ministry, with invitation direct at my situation, I decided not to walk down to the altar. I wanted to hear a specific word from God to call me. I want to be sure that God is asking for me. I dont want to go forward, thinking that God is calling me, fell into the presence of God, but come back, back to my usual self again. I dont want it just to be a temporary "feeling" but i want it to really work out for me in real life. So i told God, "If You will, please show me that it is really going to work out in my life instead of making go forward for a temporary state of "high-ness" but back to my same old problem after i walked out of the church!".
I thank God for Ps Cesar's calling for the covenant, and i want to thank God once again that i am in a situation where i can fulfill the covenant. I felt it was God's way of assuring the unbelieving me that He is going to really fulfill his promises to me. I believe it. So on top of the matter of what Ps Cesar got us to fulfill, i told God that i will sanctify myself to prepare for the fulfillment of God's promise to me, for the whole of the 3 months. Not as part of the covenant though, but a show of my trust in Him for the fulfillment of the covenant. It's difficult, and i know i probably wont be able to do it. Not by my own strength, but i'm going to rely on Him to help me with it.
It's truely amazing, i gave myself 3 years but God promised me 3 months! It's almost impossible for me to even think about it, but i know that with God, all things are possible! So i'm going to trust in His providence. Then after which, i will commit my whole life to His cause.
I thank God for Ps Cesar's calling for the covenant, and i want to thank God once again that i am in a situation where i can fulfill the covenant. I felt it was God's way of assuring the unbelieving me that He is going to really fulfill his promises to me. I believe it. So on top of the matter of what Ps Cesar got us to fulfill, i told God that i will sanctify myself to prepare for the fulfillment of God's promise to me, for the whole of the 3 months. Not as part of the covenant though, but a show of my trust in Him for the fulfillment of the covenant. It's difficult, and i know i probably wont be able to do it. Not by my own strength, but i'm going to rely on Him to help me with it.
It's truely amazing, i gave myself 3 years but God promised me 3 months! It's almost impossible for me to even think about it, but i know that with God, all things are possible! So i'm going to trust in His providence. Then after which, i will commit my whole life to His cause.
Monday, March 2, 2009
planning ahead
It's time for me to get serious wf what i am going to do. Have been hearing a lot from my colleagues about all the various things like cars, houses, stocks etc etc. It moved me to really want to get started to plan for my future ahead. If you fail to plan, you plan to fail, i always rmb this quote since my city harvest times.
Graduation is not the starting a new point of life for me. I felt backtracked a few years instead. Instead of starting from point zero, i'm coming from negative 20k. That's roughly the amount i owe for my 2 study loans and 1 laptop loan. Then i still need to start my driving lessons real soon, give money to parents, etc etc. It really seems like "money no enough".
Nevertheless, God thought me not to focus on my problems, but rather look ahead of what i am going to do. I wouldnt get nowhere if i just fix my eyes on all the problems i am having. So i have decided a plan for myself.
Long-Term Goal: To live more than comfortably, without having to worry about money.
Short-Term Goal: To start my own business, drive, and get attached.
Time-frame: 3 years
1. I want to own a car in 3 years time.
2. I want to be an entrepreneur, and i want to come out with a business plan by the end of this year.
3. I want to start my business hopefully in 2 years time.
Well, regarding relationship issues, i want to take it slowly. I've realised that i've been too eager, like a dog "on heat". I repented. I was reminded of Jo's teachings - take it slowly, because it's going to be long-term. I know my odds for you is really low, but i will take it easy and slowly. By God's grace, if we somehow get tgt, then i will give in my very best to it. Afterall, i want to be financially well-endowed and spiritually ready for you.
Graduation is not the starting a new point of life for me. I felt backtracked a few years instead. Instead of starting from point zero, i'm coming from negative 20k. That's roughly the amount i owe for my 2 study loans and 1 laptop loan. Then i still need to start my driving lessons real soon, give money to parents, etc etc. It really seems like "money no enough".
Nevertheless, God thought me not to focus on my problems, but rather look ahead of what i am going to do. I wouldnt get nowhere if i just fix my eyes on all the problems i am having. So i have decided a plan for myself.
Long-Term Goal: To live more than comfortably, without having to worry about money.
Short-Term Goal: To start my own business, drive, and get attached.
Time-frame: 3 years
1. I want to own a car in 3 years time.
2. I want to be an entrepreneur, and i want to come out with a business plan by the end of this year.
3. I want to start my business hopefully in 2 years time.
Well, regarding relationship issues, i want to take it slowly. I've realised that i've been too eager, like a dog "on heat". I repented. I was reminded of Jo's teachings - take it slowly, because it's going to be long-term. I know my odds for you is really low, but i will take it easy and slowly. By God's grace, if we somehow get tgt, then i will give in my very best to it. Afterall, i want to be financially well-endowed and spiritually ready for you.
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